Emotion Dynamics https://emotiondynamics.org Bringing groundbreaking emotional skills and healthy empathy to everyone Tue, 23 Jun 2020 18:12:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://emotiondynamics.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/favicon.ico Emotion Dynamics https://emotiondynamics.org 32 32 A better way to think about fear, anxiety, and panic https://emotiondynamics.org/a-better-way-to-think-about-fear-anxiety-and-panic/ https://emotiondynamics.org/a-better-way-to-think-about-fear-anxiety-and-panic/#respond Tue, 07 Jul 2020 12:00:43 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=12255 Read More]]>

In our Emotion Dynamics Facebook group, we search for images or messages that treat emotions and empathy with respect, but we don’t find many.

So we create our own.

This meme helps you understand the differences and similarities between fear, anxiety, and panic so that you can understand how to work with each one — or all three of them if necessary. Feel free to share this Better Meme.

If you’ve read The Language of Emotions or The Art of Empathy, and you’d like to join our Facebook group, come on over to The Language of Emotions and Empathy group on Facebook.

Description: Photo of multicolored clouds at sunrise, with this text: 

FEAR helps you focus on the present moment and access your instincts and intuition as you orient to your situation.

ANXIETY helps you focus on the future and create the most intelligent plans to help you complete all of your tasks and projects.

PANIC helps save your life when you’re in danger, and it helps you choose the perfect response so that you (and others) will survive.

 ~ Learn more at KarlaMcLaren.com

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Embracing Anxiety https://emotiondynamics.org/embracing-anxiety/ https://emotiondynamics.org/embracing-anxiety/#respond Tue, 30 Jun 2020 12:00:57 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=12288 Read More]]> How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion by Karla McLaren

This month’s Great Read is a book we’re excited to share! It’s Karla McLaren’s brand new book about the gifts and skills your anxiety brings to you.

Embracing Anxiety is an in-depth guide to the emotion Karla calls “your task-completion expert.” She helps you work with anxiety directly and identify the many other emotions that pair up with anxiety to help you complete your tasks and meet your deadlines skillfully.

Karla writes: 

Most of us have been taught to feel ashamed about or afraid of our anxiety, or to treat it as a sign of weakness or trouble. Some people even talk about anxiety as an epidemic, as if it’s a serious disease that’s also contagious. This is a shame because anxiety is an essential emotion with an important job to do: it helps us look ahead, organize ourselves, and gather the energy we need to get things done. As with any other emotion, anxiety can become unbalanced, uncomfortable, and even overwhelming, but in this book, you’ll learn why that happens so that you can work skillfully with your anxiety (even if your anxiety is painful or disruptive right now) and access its many gifts.

Your anxiety is a vital part of your emotional realm, without which you couldn’t get anything done. This book can help you embrace your anxiety so that you can live more peacefully and more skillfully.

Read more or purchase Embracing Anxiety here.

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Licensee Close-up: Bobbi McIntyre https://emotiondynamics.org/licensee-close-up-bobbi-mcintyre/ https://emotiondynamics.org/licensee-close-up-bobbi-mcintyre/#respond Tue, 23 Jun 2020 12:00:23 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=12351 Read More]]> Bobbi is a licensed DEI Trainer and Consultant and Equine-Assisted Life Coach living in the upstate area of South Carolina. She was a member of the very first cohort of DEI licensees at Empathy Academy and became licensed in 2016. Bobbi was also the first woman to qualify as a US Navy Surface Warfare Officer. She’s tough! But her patient, loving nature shines the brightest, creating a compassionate container for her workshops and consultations. Read Bobbi’s thoughts on boundaries in her post, Good Boundaries and Horse Sense.

Q&A with Bobbi McIntyre

Bobbi and Guinness

What brought you to this work?

I have always felt things strongly and was hyper-empathic in such a way that at times, I felt buffeted and out of control. When I read Karla’s first book, The Language of Emotions, a passion was ignited in me to share what I had learned. I knew that the emotion work would pair perfectly with the horse work in helping people navigate through life’s ups and downs.

What other work do you do and do you combine DEI with that work?

I am a certified Equine-Assisted Life Coach and double licensed as a DEI Trainer and Consultant. The horses respond to the emotional state of the humans interacting with them. This helps my clients understand where they are currently. The horses and I provide strategies for working with and channeling strong emotions in a healthy way.

What are some of the highlights of the work you’ve done with DEI?

My Equine Assisted workshop, Taking Life in Stride, has helped people facing issues such as child custody, career choices, living with autistic children, and learning more about how emotions work in our lives. I have been humbled and grateful to be able to provide people with skills and strategies to make life more enjoyable.

Do you ever work with other animals?

I love animals and have 4 horses and 2 dogs. In the past I trained and ran my Border Collie in sheep dogs. Currently, I ride my horses and am training a young horse that was born on my farm to pull a carriage.

What type of clients do you work with?

I work with women veterans as they integrate back into the civilian work force or into family life after an overseas deployment.

What are your most recent projects?

I am scheduled to be the key note speaker and conduct my workshop, Taking Life in Stride, at the Facilitated Equine Experiential Learning, F.E.E.L., annual conference in Toronto, Canada. I will be focusing on The 5 Empathic Mindfulness Practices: Grounding, Boundary Setting, Burning Contracts, Conscious Questioning, and Resourcing.

Bobbi and Cruiser

How has DEI most impacted your own life?

After I completed my DEI training, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The work I did with DEI helped me channel the strong emotions that accompany that sort of news. I used my new skills and strategies throughout my course of treatment and after the treatment was completed. I can honestly say that the information I learned at DEI and the support of DEI trained friends helped me get through the roughest time in my life.

Where do you see yourself in regard to this work in the future?

I plan on creating an on-line course based on my Taking Life in Stride workshop to help people understand and work with their emotions in a life-enhancing way.

Bobbi’s Teaching Philosophy: Understanding the purpose and messages behind each emotion empowers all of us to become more effective, resilient, and empathic. Unlocking emotional intelligence can free us from living at the mercy of our moods and the moods of others, allowing us to live the life we were meant to live. My greatest joy is to empower people to shine with audacious radiance!

Any final thoughts?

As a retired U.S. Navy Captain with over 40 years working in a male dominated career field, I have been to sea, traveled the world, lived through difficult times and times of pure joy. My life experiences and training have inspired and enabled me to follow my passion – assisting others as they learn how to work with their emotions to create a full and fulfilling life.

Thanks, Bobbi!


Bobbi McIntyre

Bobbi McIntyre is a licensed Dynamic Emotional Integration® Trainer. She lives in South Carolina and offers workshops throughout the Mid-Atlantic and South East areas. Bobbi is a certified Equine-Assisted life coach and a retired US Navy Captain with over 35 years in corporate leadership. Her DEI teaching focuses on empathy and empathic communication skills to promote healthy relationships at home and at work. Her engaging and interactive workshops focus on the wisdom in emotions and how to work with them to create a balanced and healthy life. View Bobbi’s profile: Bobbi McIntyre.

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Multiple Emotions are Necessary https://emotiondynamics.org/multiple-emotions-are-necessary/ https://emotiondynamics.org/multiple-emotions-are-necessary/#respond Tue, 16 Jun 2020 12:00:09 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=12293 Read More]]> A short video on why it’s important for your emotions to work together

Starting this month, we’re exploring how multiple emotions arise together to support each other, especially during difficult and uncertain times.

Your emotions bring you gifts and skills, and it’s normal to require more than one gift and more than one skill!

In this video Karla McLaren introduces one of the Four Keys to Emotional Genius: Understanding Multiple Emotions.

It’s normal and necessary for emotions to arise in pairs, groups, and clusters, and you can learn skills for working with each emotion skillfully and intentionally. 

You can learn more about each individual emotion on our YouTube channel: The Emotions and Their Gifts playlist at YouTube


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A better way to think about sadness and grief https://emotiondynamics.org/a-better-way-to-think-about-sadness-and-grief/ https://emotiondynamics.org/a-better-way-to-think-about-sadness-and-grief/#respond Tue, 09 Jun 2020 22:20:10 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=12251 Read More]]>

In our Emotion Dynamics Facebook group, we search for images or messages that treat emotions and empathy with respect, but we don’t find many.

So we create our own, and sometimes we rework terrible ones.

This meme comes from a meme we found that told people to suppress their emotions and throw happiness on top of suffering. It was terrible, so Karla rewrote it. Feel free to share this Better Meme.

If you’ve read The Language of Emotions or The Art of Empathy, and you’d like to join our Facebook group, come on over to The Language of Emotions and Empathy group on Facebook.

Description: Photo of deep blue ocean water against a blue sky, with this text: 

When life gives you a hundred reasons to break down and cry, break down and cry in a hundred ways and let the genius of sadness and grief bring you healing, flow, and depth.

Your emotions, all of them, are your strength.

~ Karla McLaren

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The Managed Heart https://emotiondynamics.org/the-managed-heart/ https://emotiondynamics.org/the-managed-heart/#respond Tue, 02 Jun 2020 12:00:47 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=12269 Read More]]> Commercialization of Human Feeling by Arlie Russell Hochschild

This month’s Great Read is a deservedly famous book by sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild, who developed the concept of emotional labor.

Emotional labor refers to the ways we manage, conceal, inflate, or studiously ignore our own emotions (and the emotions of others) in the context of the workplace. Emotional labor is a crucial part of many jobs, yet it’s rarely spelled out in any job description, and it can easily lead to a form of burnout that employees can’t completely identify. 

In The Managed Heart, Arlie Hochschild helps us understand emotional labor for two very different types of workers: flight attendants and bill collectors, and she focuses on the different emotional labor expected from men and women:

Just as we have seldom recognized or understood emotional labor, we have not appreciated its cost to those who do it for a living. Like a physical laborer who becomes estranged from what he or she makes, an emotional laborer, such as a flight attendant, can become estranged not only from her own expressions of feeling (her smile is not “her” smile), but also from what she actually feels (her managed friendliness). This estrangement, though a valuable defense against stress, is also an important occupational hazard, because it is through our feelings that we are connected with those around us.

This is an important book for any worker or manager, and especially for those of us who work in high-emotional labor occupations.

You can learn more or purchase The Managed Heart here.

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Cards! The Language of Emotions card deck https://emotiondynamics.org/cards-the-language-of-emotions-card-deck/ https://emotiondynamics.org/cards-the-language-of-emotions-card-deck/#respond Tue, 26 May 2020 12:00:39 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=12057 Have you ever wished you had flash cards for your emotions?


In this video Karla introduces her Language of Emotions card set. This card set is a quick and easy way to reference the skills in each of the 17 emotions and each of the 5 Empathic Mindfulness practices.

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A better way to look at sadness https://emotiondynamics.org/a-better-way-to-look-at-sadness/ https://emotiondynamics.org/a-better-way-to-look-at-sadness/#respond Tue, 05 May 2020 12:00:01 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=11917 Read More]]>

In our Emotion Dynamics Facebook group, we search for images or messages that treat emotions and empathy with respect, but we don’t find many.

So we create our own!

This meme about sadness celebrates its gifts, and it challenges a lot of the messages we receive about avoiding sadness at all costs. Feel free to share this Better Meme.

If you’ve read The Language of Emotions or The Art of Empathy, and you’d like to join our Facebook group, come on over to The Language of Emotions and Empathy group on Facebook.

Description: Photo of bright blue tropical ocean with gentle ripples across the surface, with these words: 

Sadness arises to help you let go of things that aren’t working for you.

If you can let go, you can relax and recover.

~ Karla McLaren

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The Heart of Addiction https://emotiondynamics.org/the-heart-of-addiction/ https://emotiondynamics.org/the-heart-of-addiction/#respond Tue, 28 Apr 2020 12:00:08 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=11900 Read More]]> A New Approach to Understanding and Managing Alcoholism and Other Addictive Behaviors, by Lance Dodes, M.D.

Cover of The Heart of Addiction by Lance DodesThis month’s Great Read is a groundbreaking and empathic way to view and treat addictions, not as a character flaw or a disease, but as an attempt to address emotional pain.

Lance Dodes is a retired clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard who watched people repeatedly fail sobriety programs — sometimes as often as a hundred times — and realized that there had to be a better and more humane way to treat addictions and addicted people. 

His humane and emotionally intelligent approach turns addiction treatment on its head and provides support, empathy, and a way forward. The Heart of Addiction supports your emotional intelligence and emotional development, and it can help you understand addiction — your own or your loved ones’ — in a clearer and more hopeful way.

This book has become a textbook in the DEI licensing program because it helps us view the pain of others in an empathic, empowering, and truly healing way.

Lance writes this about why people seek addictive substances or behaviors: 

Every addictive act is preceded by a feeling of helplessness or powerlessness (an overwhelming of the capacity to manage without feeling emotionally flooded). Addictive behavior functions to repair this underlying feeling of helplessness. It is able to do this because taking the addictive action (or even deciding to take this action) creates a sense of being empowered, of regaining control over one’s emotional experience and one’s life. This reversal of helplessness may be described as the psychological purpose of addiction.

Lance’s approach is supported by research and decades of clinical practice, and it’s also supported by a genuine concern and empathy for the suffering of others. This book is a welcome game changer.

You can learn more or purchase The Heart of Addiction here.


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The Magic of Weasel Words https://emotiondynamics.org/the-magic-of-weasel-words/ https://emotiondynamics.org/the-magic-of-weasel-words/#respond Tue, 14 Apr 2020 12:00:51 +0000 http://emotiondynamics.org/?p=12055 Read More]]> How can you speak about emotions with people who don’t want to talk about them?


In this video, Karla McLaren introduces the concept of “stress” as a weasel word that people use to avoid or hide from their emotional awareness.

“Stress is an emotional reaction. To use the word stress is a way to hide emotional awareness from ourselves.”

Luckily, you can increase your vocabulary and better understand how you’re feeling — and what’s bothering you. And if people don’t want to talk about emotions directly, you can use weasel words to keep a flow of emotional awareness in the conversation.

You can download this free Emotional Vocabulary List, which includes the Weasel Words.


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